As the 2020 nightmare has finally gone into the past, couldn't let some of these be forgotten. COVID needless to say made a significate impact on the way we all lived 2020 onwards.

I’ll just put it out their Facebook – nobody wants a 2020 review OK!

If you have just woken up from a coma, the year is 2020 and before you do anything, I suggest you hit the snooze button.

AN ENGLISH dictionary is an ideal book for a teenager wanting to learn a second language

Don't forget to get your telephoto lens out today to take those shocking scenes of crowds ignoring social distancing. Isn't the foreshortening effect wonderful. You can then post indignant messages on FB or even better on the front page of every newspaper.

Some parents who are now finding out that it's actually not the teachers who are the problem.

Scientists have discovered another deadly pathogen they are calling the Peekaboo virus. Doctors are sending anyone with peekaboo straight to ICU.

Just finished my 30th Marathon since this lockdown started.
Still can't bring my self to call them Snickers.

To relieve the boredom I've started giving all my friends nicknames based on High Street shops. You're Next.

Lockdown not going well so the missus has made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday!

Knowing me, when all this is over, I’ll probably fancy a night in.

A US vicar has died after injecting himself with disinfectant…. Donald Trump is being charged with Bleach of the priest.

The cops just left, they said if I was gonna walk around the house naked, I have to do it inside.

Well my surprise trip to Iceland for my wife's birthday that I've been planning for ages has had to be cancelled. It turns out that it's shut. It will have to be Aldi.

You never realise how anti-social you are until ther’s a pandemic and your life doesn’t really change much.

I for one hope that there is going to be a celebratory concert this weekend to mark VE day ...I can't think of a more fitting tribute to all those that lost their lives than watching Little Mix, Gary Barlow and JLS miming to a backing track to salute all our fallen heroes

How to stop eating during lockdown – wear your swimsuit instead of your pj,…you’re welcome!

Doing a shop in Tesco just now, I was horrified to find they had no toilet paper left. I slowly headed for the checkout and asked if they had any. A firm “NO!” was the answer. Shuffling back to the toilet cubicles with my trousers around my ankles was the ultimate walk of shame.

If you're unsure if you're a key worker or not, check your pay packet. If you're on less than the minimum wage, you probably are.

If you are missing the pub simply invite a load of screaming kids to your house, pour yourself a glass of warm beer and set fire to a £20 note.

Has anyone else bought the covid-19 home test kit off ebay. I got mine today and apparently I’m pregnant

There is a joke circulating in Germany: What borders on stupidity? Mexico and Canada

I'm trying to come up with a joke mixing epidemiology and epistemology, but I don't know who would get it.

My mate Dave died due to coronavirus. He'd only gone out for a walk around his garden.
Daft bastard fell from his window box on the fifteenth floor.

Ok so - first get the reciprocating flange and attach it to the gerbleflerber. That’s the yellow part. Once that’s on tighten it up - you’ll need to fly in the face of wisdom and turn it to the left to do this. Then tie it round your waist - some have Velcro straps but the ones I’ve set up use ties. And then turn the dial - GENTLY, don’t go mad. And there you have it. Just don’t use it more than three times a week if there’s an R in the month. That would be a very bad idea ! Have you tried turning it off and on again? First of all you need to fully inflate her with the Baby Doll pump that came with the package